Mr. Comment King

My last post was about some assclownery in that strange section of the blog where readers leave comments.  But this time, I’d like to honor a commenter who disagreed with an asstard commenter who makes Mr. Comment Courtship seem like a silver-tongued comment god.

It all started with my post about the asian fetish, which led to the following unbearably long rant (reproduced in its original form, including atrocious spelling and grammar, questionable punctuation and lamentable LOLing):

OK, The INCREDIBLE hypocrisy from you

is abslutely sutnning:

1. Non-Asian girls can have a thing for Asian guys — that’s just “cute.” But when a white guy has a thing for an asian girl, it’s some sort of weird “fetish??” LOL. You are either really stupid, or just messed up because wow — that’s creepy that you feel you have the power to dehumanize all white men in the world when they might have interest in asia, but, when a non-asian girl has a thing for asian guys… AWWWWW, that’s just so CUTE!!! LOL. That’s fucked up.

2. So…..You can treat men like we are a fucking product on a shelf and it’s OK? LOL, you creep. Not so. I am not a product that you dehumanize and make into your prey. Do you not think that I will fe

el just as creeped out by the name of your blog (you are so creepy! LOL) when you treat me like a product? Wow you’re dense!!! Since when do I want to be your fucking creepy Occidental product that you go out “shopping” for you creepy hypocrite?! LOL.. but here’s the best part: You’re so fucking stupid, you even named your blog “manshopping?”

OH. But….wait for it. Here is the absolute greatest: and then you are lecturing me….. _ME_ …… about having simple interest in Asian women?

LMAO. Are you really that dense?

I think I need to throw up…

3. And here’s the most disgusting thing abou

t Asian women like you who run around and lecture white men (or any one non-asian) about dating asian women. YOU ARE NOT EVEN VERY ATTRACTIVE!! LOL. What you need to do is this: before you go to bed tonight go take a couple I-am-not-AT-ALL-as-hot-as-I-think-I-am pills, get a good night’s sleep, wake up tomorrow, and maybe you will be able to move beyond this absolutely offensive and creepy objectification of white men. I get so tired of non-attractive asian women demanding that I NOT have a fetish for you. Here’s a little tip — I am not attracted to unattractive women.

4. Which leads me to my next point: YOU HAVE A WHITE FETISH. It’s so amazingly clear. But what is that? OHHHHHH. It’s OK for you to have have a fucked up weird creepy feti

sh for ME that you actually (I still can’t believe how fucked up this is) have a blog named “Man-shopping” … and then-LOL- you turn around and lecture — no, you patronize and condescend me, ASSUMING that you a

re attractive at all to me — with your tirade about all these non-asian guys that probably just have interest in asian things.

5. In the end, we ALL know the truth. The ones with the biggest asian fetish are ASIANS!! YOU are all in love with yourselves, cuz guess what miss average-looking. I AINT GOT ANY FETISH FOR YOU; I AM NOT OBSESSED WITH YOU; AND I NEVER WILL BE. What is so fucking hilarious, is that you asians are so obsessed with yourselves, that you inscribe that fetish on to ME.

UM…. NO. Sorry, you wierd, creepy asian wo

man.

I AM NOT OBSESSED WITH, NOR DO I HAVE ANY FETISH FOR YOU. And yes — I have lived in Asia, and dated lots of great asian women. Guess what: I would NEVER be attracted to you, nor would I ever date you.

Hey, so that’s great huh? You don’t have to worry about me having a fetish for you, huh you weirdo?

And to close, um, sorry, no. I was not recently dumped by an asian woman. I am a very successful advertising exec and (Im sure this will come as a surprise too) I do not date only asian women. I date women who I am attracted to, and sometimes they are asian.

You asians do us all a favor and work on dismantling that creepy self-fetish you have that you then inscribe on the rest of the world.

The only fetish out there for asians is, unfortunately, the fetish you have for yourselves.

And sorry, but that is incredibly creepy.

This guy, who referred to himself as “Reality-Check” (this hyphen placement makes my eyes bleed), is clearly among today’s intellectual elite.

Ha.

Ha.

I didn’t address his accusations head-on, as I don’t often humor borderline illiterate people.  (I say illiterate not only because his writing is painfully inarticulate, but also because he doesn’t seem to possess even the most rudimentary reading comprehension skills; his response made it clear that he neither read and nor understood any of my original blog post.)

But then RManni01 chimed in:

I am in the ad biz also and suggest that the “man shopping” handle is meant to be clever and provocative. It is not a put down or positioning dudes like products. It is F-U-N. Remember that?

Yay!  He gets it!

Does he stop there?  No.

And, face it, a lot of guys have a thing for Asian women. And why not? Having dated lovely ladies of all race, creeds, and colors, I have found wonderful characteristics in most of these women (otherwise why bother?) regardless of where they are from, etc.. And, having paid attention (important, guys), it seems that the vast majority of the Asian women I know–at least in the circles I run in–are elegant, intelligent, have beautiful skin, are great family people, faithful, trustworthy, strong-minded, knowledgable about what to eat and what not to eat, great cooks, fun-loving, clean, feminine, in great shape, crazy and unpredictable in a wonderful way, and sexy as hell. Yeah, I guess there is something wrong with me.

Granted, under normal circumstances, I’d be wary of generalizations about my fellow yellows, but there is a marked difference in this particular case.

He’s not saying that these women possess these qualities due to their Asian-ness, per se, but he is saying that the Asian women of his acquaintance just happen to possess these qualities.  It is a nuance that changes the whole game, guys, so take note.

And even if RManni01 didn’t actually mean to make this distinction, I will excuse his presumption anyway.

Why?

Because I am all those things that he listed.

I ROCK.

And you are darn tootin’ right, I am sexy as hell.

14 Comments

Filed under Misters

14 responses to “Mr. Comment King

  1. Vilnius Dreadmorgue

    Dang, that “LOL” guy is out to lunch. But he does bring up a point that I wonder about sometimes (though less rabidly). It does seem as though a lot of Asian woman are eager to date white guys. At least everyone’s fetishes are aligned, so that’s good I guess.

    Except mine — I have a “thing” for goth chicks, who sadly don’t have a thing for squares. Wait — I’ll tell them I’m a parallelogram! Thanks Man Shopper!

    • Well, I agree that some Asian women out there are eager to date only white guys, and I can’t speak for them. There may be other social forces at work there. I’m no expert, and I can only speak for myself, and I’d like to believe that I’m more open than that. That being said, I can’t help it if I fancy Asians who just don’t reciprocate! My dating statistics are skewed through no fault of my own.

      By the way, are you sure that you don’t want to tell them that you’re a rhombus? The ladies love rhombi! What is that saying? Diamonds are a girl’s best friend?

  2. TheIdiotSpeaketh

    Good Grief you poor girl….how do you attract these freaks? Whatever you are doing….stop it! Stop it now! …… :)

  3. And that guy really needs to look up what LOL means.

    What a douche!!

  4. rmanni01

    Man-shopper:
    Thx for the shout out. Gotta keep things light and appreciate the ladies. You care about making things better, so who can possibly argue with that. And, you r correct. I should have framed my response a bit more clearly. Keep up the conversation!
    My novel( and hopefully at some point, the accompanying TV show) is coming out this summer. When it is baked, I will let you know and forward you the e-book, if that’s okay. It’s about lovesexpowermoney. More to come…
    Cheers.
    R

    • Very exciting, novel and TV show! I look forward to checking out the e-book. “Lovesexpowermoney” should be a real word. It has a nice ooomph to it.

  5. Lifebeginsat30ty

    My favorite is the inappropriate LOL’s and LMAO after every harsh comment. I imagine a serial killer telling you that he is goig to rip your heart out with a spoon and then laughing uproariously. Creepy.

    • I agree with you about the LOL spewage. I didn’t think about that serial killer angle though. I am now very glad that he can’t come hunt me down here in Paris. I hope…

  6. Oh wow. The fact he went on so much is creepy….yet he calls you creepy. Oh, and he finds it really funny too. LOL. What an absolute fruit loop. I would love to see his response to this post…

    So sorry to see that you have to deal with such craziness and abuse but very pleased you shared it all with us. Really glad the second guy chimed in. Bravo.

    Laura xx
    http://firstclassramblings.blogspot.com

    • Fruit loop is a great way to describe him! Although I only wish that he were as endearing as an actual loop of fruit.

      Dealing with craziness and abuse isn’t so bad when I use my blog as an outlet/therapy tool. The internet is a glorious thing, even if it does bring out the crazies.

  7. Ha! What a Rtard.

    I think some people were just born to hate. Too bad, really. If he just stopped being a dewsh and got laid once by an Asian, he’d change his tune.

    Cuz, not to generalize, but all the Asians that I’VE been acquainted with (you catch the subtle nuance, right?) are not only hot, but sexy and… more sexy.

    Borderline unhinged, maybe. But sexy.

    Rmanni had it right. And well said. Though the whole “my book deal, TV show, and legions of hot Asian” routine is a little to Hollywood for me. No offense. I’d be the same way if I had a book coming out.

    Which, speaking of, it’s probably time I get to work on that children’s book, huh?

    I’m debating between “the little texter who could” and “daddy drinks because you cry” for my title. Thoughts?

    Caleb

    • We Asianistas range from borderline unhinged to completely off the hinge. It’s part of what makes us special. All women have their own special brand of crazy, and ya’ll put up with it because you want to have happy naked time with us. This is a pretty great arrangement! :)

      I like “The little texter who could”. You have so much versatility with that. It could be a whole series. I will put in my special request right now: please include drawings of cat-put.

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