Even after all this time, the most popular post on my blog is still Mr. Asian Fetish. Apparently, and perhaps for good reason, this is a hot button topic on the interwebs. Frankly, I have been reluctant to write about it again because I don’t want to give the impression that being Asian or being fetishized is the sole or primary component of my identity.
However, sometimes I think that parisian men can’t seem to think otherwise.
I recently encountered somebody whose exotification of my slanty-eyes got me so riled that he left me no choice but to revisit the topic of the Asian fetish.
To sum up my previous post on it:
- I don’t think of it as a fetish. I think of it as a personal preference that may sometimes manifest itself as broader stereotyping.
- I don’t mind if I’m your physical type for whatever reason, but come on, fool, don’t be an asstard about it.
- Parisian men are usually asstards about it.
After being waylaid by Mr. Geisha Fantasy on my way out of a cafe the other day I still stand by all three points. I cite the following excerpts from our conversation.
He commented on my accent:
- Mr. Geisha Fantasy : “You speak French with a Japanese accent.”
- Man-shopper’s brain : “Kill me now.”
- Man-shopper’s mouth : “I’m American. That’s like saying you speak English with a white person accent.”
- Mr. Geisha Fantasy : “No. You do. I am telling you. I know what I’m talking about. I lived in Japan.”
- Man-shopper’s brain : “I hate my life sometimes.”
He has, I suspect, absolutely no idea what he is talking about:
- Mr. Geisha Fantasy : “I like to work out too. I lived in Japan, you know.”
- Man-shopper’s brain : “What the hell is going on here??”
He clearly has some thrilling insights about pan-Asian uniformity:
Mr. Geisha Fantasy : “You Asians are all kind of the same, aren’t you?”- Man-shopper’s brain : “@$#%^~*!!”
- Man-shopper’s mouth : “Yes. Of course. You’re right. We are all the same. You can switch me out with any other Asian. We’d be having this same conversation.”
- Man-shopper’s brain : “He MUST understand sarcasm, right??”
- Mr. Geisha Fantasy : “Yes, that’s exactly what I mean!”
- Man-shopper’s brain : “Oooor… not.
He likes an Asian in red:
- Mr. Geisha Fantasy : “You obviously like brightly colored dresses. You should wear bright red lipstick. I know lots of Japanese women who wear red lipstick.”
- Man-shopper’s brain : “Seriously? SERIOUSLY??”
What a charmer.
My uncle Pierre is in France right now… and he lived in Japan… and he loves red lipstick… that’s it- I’m sending him an email!
Dear Uncle Pi-
Please stop harassing the pretty young Asian girls of France. But do send pics.
Your favorite nephew,
Caleb
Good man, Caleb. I can always rely on you to do what needs to be done.
How about some change of scenery? Leave Paris for half a year, or a year maybe. You definitely gotta get rid of those asstards.
Helsinki is nice.
You are right! A change of scenery is long overdue. My plans for this are already in motion… More on this later…
Since he’s convinced all asians are the same, why did you not karate-chop him? Or at least scorpion him in the temple?
oxo
JFB
Oh man, I didn’t think of that! Imagine how much more awesome my blog stories would be if my initial response to asstoolery involved more karate-chopping? Oh, the possibilities…
I think it would be more effective to suplex him in an elevator. All Asian women can do that, right?
Of course. Suplexing goes with basic age 6 asian training, right up there with high level maths.
I had a few of “those” guys…my long term boyfriend (right before my Frenchie Husband
was obsessed he ended up dating a Japanese woman and married her about 2 months after we broke up. I guess I was not Asian enough for him! haha Good Riddance
There is definitely some mental block here about a person’s ability to be American but look Asian. I stopped telling people I’m American and now I just say I’m Japanese because otherwise they assume I’m lying to them which doesn’t start things off well, AND they’re less disappointed. I figure that doing that is not lying, it’s just withholding information.
having navigated these waters a while, and being “brown”, i can understand the frustration and sympathize. it’s like they are incapable of going beyond the obvious. first few comments i get are “i saw slumdog millionaire and i love chicken curry”. seriously?
Oh my. That’s amazing.
And I mean that in the worst amazing sense possible.
Currently living in Paris now as a student. I’ve “ODDLY” been poked countless time by random French men who just want to ask “Chinois?” After I reply “uh… oui….,” they don’t do anything but just stare at me, until it’s so awkward that I walk away (and yes, only men do this for some reason). No comments.
OMG
I couldn’t take this, I’d have punched him