Some of you may recall my thoughts about the Parisian lingerie scene, and you may remember that I observed that Parisian women seem to universally embrace the matching set on a daily basis. I was skeptical. I didn’t want to admit that these ladies knew something that I didn’t. However, since then, I’ve decided to give in to peer pressure, and I resolved to try to blend in with the locals.
This is not as easy as you would think. Here are the obstacles that I foresaw:
- Affordable lingerie is NOT easy to find in Paris.
- I have never owned a matching set in my life. I understand the idea, I understand the appeal, but I’ve always been pragmatic, and it would take a monumental effort to force myself to give in to a little lacy frivolity.
- It’s winter, and trying on lingerie would necessitate removing all kinds of layers each time. Highly inconvenient.
- The chances that any given parisian man would have the opportunity to see and appreciate my scanty underthings? Answer: slim to none.
But I recently had an a crystallizing moment that changed the whole way that I approached the concept of underwear.
This moment changed my life.
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Kate Moss in Agent Provocateur : How can you NOT feel sexy in stuff like this?
I was on my way to the bank when I passed by a shop window that displayed an impressive selection of lacy and satiny underwear. It was a tiny place, but it exuded a certain old Hollywood glamour. The furniture was lux, there were huge, gilded mirrors scattered around the one-room shop, and there were flimsy underthings and overthings draped over everything — seemingly haphazardly, yet actually strategically.
I was in a saucy mood that day, so I said to myself, “Why not?”
When I walked in, the salesgirl asked me what I was looking for. I replied that I was in search of more adventurous and sexier sets in saucy colors.
She looked me up and down.
I froze in terror, expecting her to assess me as a fat non-parisian cow and hand me something eight sizes too big.
But, surprise! She pegged me straightaway as a 90A and medium on the bottom. She went on to say, “Don’t worry, I have exactly what you’re looking for.”
She then pulled all sorts of fantastical things from the racks and hustled me off to the fitting area, which consisted of little more than a corner, a transparent lacy curtain, and an antique mirror.
She insisted that I try everything on, including whatever accoutrements that came with each set. Lacy fingerless gloves! Sky-high heels! Garters! She was fascinated by my body, commenting on the curvature of my butt and insisting that it should only be clothed in thongs and g-strings in order to show it off to its best advantage. (Incidentally, she also taught me to avoid balconet bras.) She made me strut around the entire shop (wearing almost nothing, mind you!) so that I could “get the full effect” in the larger antique mirrors that she had placed around the shop floor.
Christies. I dare any woman to try on stuff like this and not to feel like a salacious goddess.
Let me tell you, dear readers, that I felt TRANSFORMED. Gone was the awkward nerdy chick, the goddess of man-shopping disaster.
Enter the sex pot. The slinky, lacy, satiny and barely-clad queen of awesome. I really was wearing nothing except a few bits of strategically placed, slightly pigmented air. But these exquisite luxury sets made me feel like something else.
Even my normally insecure, self-conscious self had no problem sashaying around this shop — wearing next to nothing — in full view of anyone who passed by the shop window!
So now I understand. I understand why parisian women always wear matching sets.
It.
Is.
GLORIOUS.
It’s really too bad that I couldn’t afford to spend 400 euros on lingerie.
That would have been my total for only TWO sets.
On sale.
Le sigh.
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I learned quite a bit of new vocabulary on this lingerie adventure, for those of you who are curious. This may prove useful for some, as Valentine’s Day is coming up!
- balconnet : balconet bra
- bas [m.] : stockings
- body [m.] : bodysuit
- bonnet [m.] : cup
- bretelles [f.] : straps
- bustier [m.] : bustier
- corbeille : underwire bra
- culotte [f.] : panties/knickers (handy wikipedia chart)
- déshabillé [m.] : negligee
- guêpière [f.] : bustier with attached garters
- jarretière [f.] : garter
- nuisette [m.] : baby doll
- peignoir [m.] : peignoir, dressing gown, robe
- porte-jarretelles [m.] : garter belt
- push-up : push-up bra
- sans bretelles : strapless bra
- shorty [m.]: boyshort
- slip [m.] : briefs
- soutien-gorge [m.] : bra
- string [m.] : thong
- tanga [m.] : g-string
