Tag Archives: stalker

Ms. Stalker

Earlier this week, I was wondering how a girl would go about chatting up and getting a date with a local hunk.

So I scoped out potential targets and decided to set my sights on the hunkasaurus that delivers our mail.  I commenced Operation Dreamy Postman this past Monday.

Here is the play-by-play recap of my attempt to stalk the postman:

Day 1: Since he normally delivers our mail in the morning, I got dolled up and lingered around the letter boxes while eating my oatmeal — all in the hopes that I would “run into” him.  Hopes were shattered when the custodian’s sudden appearance forced me to retreat before seeing him.

Day 2: I overslept, so I had to go stalking in my blue onesie, wellies, glasses, and disheveled hair.  I was essentially unrecognizable when the Dreamy Postman entered the building.  Alas, I couldn’t look him in the eye, let alone strike up a conversation… I was so mortified to be caught looking like deranged blue hedgehog.

Day 3: I was feeling more proactive, so I decided to go out in the neighborhood to hunt for the Dreamy Postman and catch him on his delivery route.  I got sidetracked when I stopped to play with a local French bulldog, so I had to shuffle off to work without any sighting of the Dreamy Postman.

Day 4: I decided to take the day off from stalking the Dreamy Postman.  I was contemplating the pros and cons of further stalking while en route to another date that night, and by the time that I arrived at our meeting place, I had ultimately decided to abort Operation Dreamy Postman.

But as I walked up to meet my date, he turned out to be none other than…

… the Dreamy Postman!

Despite my failed attempt at stalking, lucky me, I still managed to get a date with the local hunk!

Thankfully, the Dreamy Postman didn’t make the connection between the Man-shopper before him and the unmitigated disaster that was in our foyer a few days earlier.

Unfortunately, that didn’t change the fact that the date was an swirling vortex of awkwardness.  (It probably didn’t help that I was kicking myself the whole time for failing to make the connection between the cute guy on the dating website and the Dreamy Postman.  I HATE being caught unawares.)

So despite my best hopes and intentions, I must say…

…NEXT!

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