Mr. All-American

I was struck by this one because his all-american looks really appealed to how homesick I was feeling.  Sunny hair, blue eyes, broad shoulders, pictures taken against sweeping nature-y scenery…

He seemed really nice, this one.  Very keen on me.  Very attentive.  It was flattering, I admit.  I got sucked in temporarily.  But when he sent me more pictures, it hit me as to why he seemed so all-american…

… he had what appeared to be… A BEER BELLY.

Right, so I put him back on the shelf for the most superficial of reasons.  I know, I know, I’m a bitch.  But you know what?  That’s the whole point of online dating: efficiency and ease of use.

You have a huge selection, so you might as well be selective.  You MUST be selective just to deal with the huge volume of products in the first place.  Judge me all you want, I stand by my decision.  You know that you’d do the same.

Obviously, it’s time to shop around for a better man-product.


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