This post is a shout-out to the ever-pervasive Sunglass Douche phenomenon that has taken the online dating scene by storm.
I don’t know how many of you have come to this conclusion about the role of sunglasses in online profiles… But my instinct tells me that there are two categories of guys who insist on wearing sunglasses in their primary profile picture (some even go as far as to wear them in all their profile pictures):
(1) guys who are so douche-y that they think that wearing sunglasses automatically makes them uber-cool. They think that the sunglasses turn them into veritable sex gods;
(2) guys who are actually hideous, but the sunglasses either hide the hideousness or draw attention away from their offending characteristics.
Either way, in my opinion, wearing sunglasses in his primary profile picture makes a guy a douche. And I have no business wasting my time with him. I call it my Sunglasses-Douche Equivalency Principle.
I make it a rule to immediately refuse the attentions of any and all man-products who sport these offensive douche-shades. Your pictures are supposed to show who you are, perhaps give some insight into your personality. And if sunglasses are how you choose to hide and/or express your personality, I want nothing to do with you. Hey, it’s online man-shopping… I am supposed to be selective with the products that I want to purchase!
I would estimate that I’ve summarily eliminated approximately 40% of prospective man-products based solely on the Sunglasses-Douche Equivalency Principle. Come on, fellas. Shape up. This lady will never date a Sunglass Douche.
I can’t even count how many times I have said NEXT! to Sunglass Douches.