Mr. Love-You-Long-Time

In all fairness, the date wasn’t catastrophically bad, not like all the other Misters that I’ve blogged about.

But then again, it wasn’t great either.  Our interaction was abysmally awkward — the conversational equivalent of trying to pull out a tooth with a line of string attached to a doorknob.  But the most unsettling aspect of this date:

He had ordered the most ABSURD drink on the menu.

Yes, I am a judgmental bitcherina.  Fine, I admit that.  But seriously, people, this was some artificial Hello Kitty color, came in a giant tippy martini/margarita glass, and it had pink straws and some sort of tropical fruit garnish to complement its apple liqueur base.  It also had ludicrous name: “The Love-You-Long-Time.”

We’ll ignore the latent issues with the drink name.  It pales in comparison with the substantive matter at hand: the cultural drinking divide between men and women in Paris.

Why do Parisian men order girly cocktails?  Mr. Love-You-Long-Time  said that they tasted “divine.”  Another Frenchman friend confessed that he hated the taste of beer because it didn’t have the nuanced flavors of wine (I protest!).  But the more interesting question is what the women here are expected to drink.

My Irish flatmate was wondering whether it would seem “normal” if she ordered a pint on her upcoming drinks date.  I found absolutely nothing wrong with that, since I always order a pint myself.  Another Americano and an Irishman later backed me up on this, insisting that beer-drinking broads are awesome.

However, our French man-friend begged to differ, insisting that a Frenchman would consider a pint-drinking gal to be pretty strange.  Apparently, Parisian girls never order pints.  In fact, they rarely order beer at all.  Perhaps they consider themselves too sophisticated for beer?  When they do opt for a beer for whatever reason, they would only order a half-pint.  And I bet that they hate every plebeian sip of it.

While I wholeheartedly disagree with this anti-pint bias, perhaps it has contributed to my inability to land a second date…

Mr. Love-You-Long-Time actually had the audacity to point out my beer-drinking ways on the date, all the while guzzling his frosted, sugary concoction.  After I mentioned that my flatmates are both Irish, he glanced over at my pint and mumbled, “Well, THAT explains why you drink beer.”

Somehow, it didn’t sound like a compliment.



Filed under Misters

9 responses to “Mr. Love-You-Long-Time

  1. jackfairfax

    Sorry, but you can’t ignore the latent issues with the drink name. If my favorite drink in the world was called the Love-You-Long-Time, even if it was an elixir that prolonged life and gave me supernatural powers, I could never order it on a date with an asian girl. It is just not done.

    • You are absolutely right. But I’m going to save a lengthier discussion of this drink name for a future post on the Asian fetish. I’m hoping to bide my time and gather more material for an EPIC post on Mr. Asian Fetish!

  2. Pingback: Ms. Top Five « Man-shopping in Paris

  3. WTF??? Seriously the drink was called that? That’s just strange. Perhaps that dude was too stupid to “get it”?

    Men ordering pink cocktails (or “coochtails”, love that name, btw), I’ve got no words for that (well no words that won’t be offensive). If you can’t handle the taste of beer or liquor (and you’re a guy), perhaps you shouldn’t drink. And that coupled with the slight build and short stature, I’m so sorry. That’s frightening. I’m literally frightened.

    • I wish that I were lying about the drink name. I actually passed by that place a couple of weeks ago and decided to advise them against keeping it on the menu. It wasn’t just my date that didn’t get it. The bar staff and management definitely didn’t get it either. As you said… frightening.

  4. Just to add a little precision, this only applies for French people in Paris. Here, in the beautiful countryside, womens drink beer (hell, my ex could drunk pints a looooot more than me), and that’s awesome.

  5. cambeul41

    Might I suggest that leaving “Love-You-Long-Time” on the menu might be a good thing? If one’s date orders it, alarm bells would be set off so that one could plan a strategic retreat.

    I did not understand why, if the conversation was “the … equivalent of trying to pull out a tooth…,” and if there were such strongly contrasting opinions about the suitability of drinks — or anything else — for ones sex or perceived ethnicity, one would in the slightest degree regret an “inability to land a second date.” Why would you want to?

    To jackfairfax: How are Asian girls different from any other?

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