In case you haven’t noticed, I am of the Asian persuasion. And ever since my date with Mr. Love-You-Long-Time, I have received requests to blog about the Asian fetish…
So here’s the thing, folks. I don’t have anything against the Asian fetish, per se. I’m even reluctant to call it a “fetish.” Everyone has a “type” that they prefer, and who am I to judge if a fellow likes the soy sauce?
Frankly, with the dawn of plastic surgery and advanced beauty products, it’s a cutthroat dating market out there. I will take any advantage that I can get!
That being said, it is still inappropriate to blatantly advertise your ethnicity preferences on a date. Nobody likes to be labeled like that.
For instance, one commenter pointed out that ordering a drink called “Love You Long Time” while on a date with an Asian girl “is just not done.” Hell, taking her to a place that has it on the menu in the first place, that really “is just not done!”
Since that unfortunate incident, even more of my hapless dates followed his lead and crossed that just-not-done line.
Thanks to them, I have an ongoing list of what NOT to say when you are on a date with an Asianista like myself:
“Hey there, pretty Asian girl.”
- Word to the wise, this is never a good way to start.
“Wow. You are super tall for a Vietnamese girl. Are Vietnamese girls taller than Cambodian girls? My ex-girlfriend is Cambodian.”
- He started out badly enough, but then he referenced the ex, as well? Dumbass.
“I bet you know where all the Asian restaurants are in Paris.”
- Yeah. Obviously. Because I’m Asian, I know ALL of them. And Uncle Ho was actually my uncle. So was Mao.
“Sure, that event sounds interesting. Is it an Asian thing? I’ll only go if it’s an Asian thing.”
- I was just… speechless.
“Do you ever go to Asian Night at Mix Club? I go all the time.”
- This is NOT the right way to say that you love to get down with the slanty-eyed folk.
“I love to read manga. You look like an Animé character.”
- Good. GOD.
“Hey, I see two Asian girls sitting at that table over there. Do you know them? Are they your friends?”
- Again. I had no words.
“I loved Australia! There are a lot of Asians there.”
- Really? Do I need to explain this one?
“Oh you’re Vietnamese? We’re going to get along great! I have heaps of female Korean friends.”
- The only word I have for this is: STUPID. This line was so stupid that it makes me stupid when I think about it.
You know… this goes beyond the whole issue of ethnicity. For example, if you replaced every “Asian” with any other modifier like — gosh, I don’t know — “small-waisted,” these comments would still be inappropriate.
The worst of it is that these lines did not just come from one man-product.
In other words, such poor unfortunate souls have strength in numbers.
Sigh… am getting tired of saying this, but… NEXT!