Ms. New York Man-shopper

Someone reprimanded me today about the fact that I didn’t write anything about man shopping during my stay in New York.  She tried to impress upon me that it was my bloggerly duty to divulge my manventures in the Big Apple.

Bloggerly duty, my ass.  This was a matter of schadenfreude.  She just wanted the blogosphere to know how pathetically unsuccessful I was in New York.

But fine.  She insisted.  And I love her to bits, so I’ll oblige…

Dear readers, this was my “flirtatious” encounter:

  • Sushi waiter – May I take your order?
  • Man-shopper – Yes, I’d like an order of the Maki C, please.
  • Sushi waiter – Ha ha I’m Maki D.  HA HA!
  • Man-shopper — What?

Oh New York, I love you.  But… please.



Filed under Misses

24 responses to “Ms. New York Man-shopper

  1. I hope that he wasn’t referring to McDonald’s…

    • Now that I’ve had time to think about it, I’m pretty sure that this was indeed some sort of twisted McDonald’s reference. It doesn’t make the exchange any less nonsensical though.

  2. CapOuPasCap

    AWESOME! 😛

  3. If that was the best encounter you had in NY, then you get your butt back on a plane and go do it right!

    You owe it to yourself.

    Also, relating this post (Asian restaurant) with another post (things not to do/say when on date with Asian girl), I was going to point out that I’ve taken a few Asian girls to Asian restaurants and the waiters/cooks ALWAYS give them undue attention and act like they’re already best friends.

    One saucy date of mine to an overly flirty cook: “Um… no I DON’T know what you’re talking about. Just because we’re both Asian doesn’t mean you “know” me. Last time I checked Asia was big. Unlike you, I’m sure.” (to me) let’s go fuck.

    She was a keeper!


    • I hope you kept her, Caleb. If not, I’d love to have her in Paris as my Asian wingwoman. I’d like to have her on my crack team.

      • I would have kept her, however she went over the deep end.

        By “Deep end” I mean keyed some girl’s car, threatened to have me reported as kidnapped if I didn’t call her back during a fight, and one time threw a full-on temper tantrum fit (complete with plugged ears) in a crowded basketball stadium.

        Sorry, but no sex however great is worth that.

        Well, for very long anyway 😉

        I’m thinking about posting about this ex in my blog, but I’m worried she might stumble on it one day and then find and murder me.


  4. you had your chances Man-Shopper!! 😉

    • I’ve a healthy sense of self-preservation… I can’t fight off all the single women of NYC who are clamoring for the attentions of one of the city’s most eligible bachelors 😉

  5. Yeah, I haven’t had much luck in NYC either.

  6. What? So you’re keeping out hot afternoon together a secret? I can dig it. Hehehe glad your home safe.

  7. Hmm. No one’s name is actually Maki is it? Maybe he was saying that was like his name? But you chose a different last letter? I…I don’t know. I can’t imagine that “maki” is a name…but then again I used to know a boy named Bacardi and a girl named after a brand of television, so…maybe?

    This will bother me for awhile.

  8. Ken

    Still kicking myself that I missed you in Boston.

    Yes, actually kicking myself.

    It hurts. But I deserve it.

  9. The thing is… if I were that waiter, I would totally make that joke a lot.

  10. Um. My response is the same as yours: “What?”

    I don’t get it. You ordered the Maki C. I’m assuming there was a Maki A & B as well. Who gives a shit if he’s Maki D? You wanted the C! Was his name really Maki? Did his last name start with D? Am I missing some sort of sushi reference?

    What a weirdo.

    Oh, and “schadenfreude?” Whoa, Nelly! I thought I was a big shot using a $2 word like pulchritude. But that baby there gotta be worth at least $3.50. 😉

    • I love “pulchritude!” But “schadenfreude” will always be my favorite word. Probably because it applies to so much of my life. No wonder I am so karmically screwed…

  11. Skinny Dip

    Wow, I feel like that dude was really scraping the bottom of the barrel with that one. I wonder if his sushi inspired flirting ever is…successful?!

    Ps. I received your card! Thank you! I loved it. DONKEY CHAIN.

  12. I doubt that it has ever been successful. He didn’t exactly look the part of a smooth-talking casanova.

    Yay, I’m glad the donkey chain card arrived!

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