Ms. San Francisco Man-shopper

The other night, my beautiful sister and I decided to break out some foxy eye makeup and booty-poppin’ trousers for a night out on the town.  Ideally, we should have ended up at a nice whisky bar, and one or both of us should have found ourselves chatting up some broad-shouldered specimen over a dram of Springbank.

But that simply is not how my life unfolds.

No, dear readers, we had some wine, my eyeballs decided to reject yet another trial pair of contact lenses, and my heels plotted to kill me on Powell Street.

Oh, and one more thing, I may have inadvertently caused a young man to become smitten with me.

A VERY young man.

Before you start picturing me as some kind of predatory hag who feeds upon prepubescent virgins, I swear that the kid was over 18.


But there is no reason for me to feel any remorse, right?

I didn’t DO anything.

I was just my usual charming self.

Oh, and I probably looked pretty damn good too.  I like to think that I usually do.

So… totally not my fault.

But damn, of all the men in the room (and believe you me, there were oodles upon oodles of them), my come-hither eyes couldn’t rope in someone who had at least finished puberty?  Must I resort to preying upon children?

In any case, I’m just going to chalk this up to yet another freak romantical disaster and move on with my life.

As of a few days ago, I am unofficially back on the Parisian dating scene.

Just kill me now.


Filed under Misses

17 responses to “Ms. San Francisco Man-shopper

  1. Heels in ‘frisco….that’s no easy task

  2. Alex

    Age ain’t nothing but a number…

    Oh wait, I remember now, it’s a big a deal 😉

    • He was kinda cute in the way that Hello Kitty and Friends stuff is kinda cute… Your first reaction is “awww,” and the next reaction is “holy crap, I cannot be caught dead being seen with this stuff.”

  3. The picture of the chick and egg is priceless.

    Re the children – maybe you shouldn’t think of it as preying. Instead look at it as your chance to better the world. You’d be training them to be really good lovers for their future mates.

    The good karma from that kind of work is bound to land you an age appropriate hottie at some point no?

    • I like to think that I’ve built up enough good karma by now. At this rate, it won’t come back to me in my lifetime, and it will probably just accumulate until I am reborn a couple of lifetimes from now as Sofia Vervara’s doppelganger. Now THAT would be well worth it.

  4. I’m not looking anymore, but from what I can tell, if I was, old men and homeless men seem to be the only ones who find me attractive.

    So it could be worse, is what I’m saying.

  5. Ms Man,

    I think I saw you out on the town!

    No, wait. I was nowhere near San Fran, this girl wasn’t Asian, and there were no heels or booty-poppin’ trousers.

    And she was in a wheelchair.

    Totally different story I guess.

    We hooked up though.


  6. I thinkin’ the fault must lie in the “booty-poppin’ trousers.” You are a biker, right? You probably have an ass that just won’t quit. Therefore the older crowd is thinking, hospital visit, and the younger crowd is thinking, I can show that off at the beach.
    Take the flattery while it lasts.

  7. girl, cougaring is fun–you saw my man. And he didn’t have a choice in the matter! hehe

  8. CapOuPasCap

    Did you draw the funny illustration above? I’m asking cause I want to set it as my Facebook profile picture. Whose credit am I supposed to put in then? 😛

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