When I was asked to contribute a guest post for the ever-tenacious Ken over at Lustmongers, I admit that I was stumped. But when lovely Skye over at MetAnotherFrog suggested that I change up my tune a bit by writing about what I look for in a man (instead of the usual rip-and-run fare that you’re likely to find on my blog), I was eager to rise to the challenge.
And what a challenge it was! It’s tough to be positive in this dating market. But, dear readers, if you’d like to see what I came up with, below you can find an excerpt from my musings about “Shopping for the Ideal Man:”
If you look only at my blog entries, you’d think that I spend 100% of my dating time being a brutal buzz-saw – that all I do is gut my Parisian victims as if they were animal carcasses in my own personal slaughterhouse. I’m terribly offended that anyone could possibly think this of me. Unlike my mother, who was born without tear ducts, I am somewhat human, and I am here on Lustmongers to combat these vicious assumptions.
For the record, I only spend 99% of my time being the Man-chopper, so to speak. There is a whopping 1% of positive thinking that goes on, I swear. To prove it to you, this post is dedicated to unveiling the Man-shopper’s ideal man.
Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t focus ALL my energy on finding fault with my men. Even though I find myself assuming the worst of Parisian ‘gentlemen’, there is an itty-bitty-teeny-weeny-yellow-polka-dot-bikini part of me that still holds out hope that my ideal man is out there.
Who is this fairy-castle-in-the-sky of a man that I’m looking for, you ask? Brace yourself. This list is so profound that it very well may change your life.
For the rest, go to Lustmongers and read it here. And while you’re at it, stay a while, browse the site, and discover how I came to cherish its irreverence and bum worship. I am truly honored to be considered a Guest Perv.