This post is dedicated entirely to the assclownery, tooldouchery, and general rudeness that men have thrown at me over the past few years of my expatriate adventure. It’s unclear whether they wanted to get into my pants, offend me, or just wanted a laugh, but that is hardly the point. The point is that they just don’t know how to treat a lady.
I’m not going to commentate much here, as these little sound bytes speak for themselves. Below I have compiled the worst opening overtures from complete strangers. Off the street… At the gym… At the bar… In the supermarket…
- “Are you a lesbian? I assumed that you were because of your arms.”
- “How much?”
- “You are eating SO MUCH.”
- “I’m in a band.”
- “It’s not ladylike to order beer.”
- “You sound unattractive.”
- <pointing to my beer> “You’re actually going to drink THAT??”
- “Hey! You! Chinese girl!”
- “Soooo…. yes or no?” <eyebrow wiggle>
- “You’re Lucy Liu!”
- “Hey! Whore!”
- “You know, it’s pathetic to sit by yourself.”
- “Hey! Yoo hoo! Oy! Hey! Hey! Hey! HEY! HEY YOU! OVER HERE! COME OVER HERE!!! What the… YOU FUCKING WHORE!!!!”
- With my back to them, guys have tugged my hair so that I will turn around.
- Guys have thrown stuff (water bottles, orange peels, wads of paper…) at me in order to get my attention.
- One guy ran up to me and screamed in my face.
Whatever happened to “Excuse me”, “Hi”, and “Hello”?
Anyone in the United States want to offer me a job? I can start immediately.
P.S. To the guy who spit on me : how dare you?!
P.P.S. To the guy on the metro who licked me : EW.
P.P.P.S. To the guy who tried to slap my face : I will find you. I will kill you.