Eurovision… A glorious few days of unabashed pageantry, spectacle, melodrama, sequins, confetti, eurotrashiness and national rivalries.
I will be the first to say that, for obvious reasons, a kitschy “singing” contest would not be a good time to conduct any man-shopping. But that didn’t stop me from perving on all the pretty boys in the competition.
I just got caught up in the spirit of Eurovision, and I found myself perving on these gorgeous little things prancing around on the stage. I just couldn’t help myself. They’re adorable!
This year, even though I was rooting for Ireland’s Jedward to win, they’re too wholesome and asexual to perv on. So I instead went all googoo-eyed over some of the other contestants at this year’s finals.
… Eric Saade of Sweden!
Look at him. He’s gorgeous. And from what I’ve seen in his Eurovision rendition of “Popular“, this lad can gyrate! So he was born in the 90s?
He’s old enough that I probably wouldn’t be arrested on the spot for hanging off him, but he’s still young enough that I’d still deserve a kick in the face for even entertaining the idea.
Not his face.
For the love of god, don’t touch his beautiful face.
And finally, from the country that gave us Viggo Mortensen, whose iconic door-opening scene in The Two Towers dropped ladies’ panties the world over when it premiered in the cinemas all those years ago, we have the lads of A Friend in London!
They are obviously not of Viggo’s caliber, and they are shamefully young, but come on… this is my list of Eurovision pervtacular crushes. Play along, would you?
My regular readers won’t be surprised that France’s contestant for Eurovision did not make it onto my pervy list. Why not, you ask?
Because he looks like this:
His hair is better than mine.
We all have to draw the line somewhere.
* Big shout-out to my beloved William Lee Adams for enabling my perving. He is, in my opinion, the world’s leading authority on Eurovision and provides comprehensive coverage of Eurovision madness on his blog.