Ms. Honeybabylovelylumps

Pet names can sometimes be a touchy topic, as the value, efficacy and general feelgoodiness of any pet name is purely subjective and based entirely on the arbitrary criteria of the individual being pet-named.

In general, whether or not I enjoy being called a pet name in French is determined entirely by whether I find the pet-namer horribly sleazy or gloriously attractive.

Given my history with the parisian male population, which is a separate species that I like to call parisianus asstardanus, it should come as no surprise that there are precious few French pet names that I find particularly appealing.

French pet names I like

  • ma belle
  • mon coeur (I’ve never been much of a romantic, but I have to say that “my heart” really has a certain ring to it.)
  • princesse (This is not to be confused with the possessive “MA princesse”, as I don’t intend to be anyone’s princess for as long as I can help it.  It implies a certain sappy dependency that I find cringeworthy.)
  • cherie (Harmless.  But again, not to be confused with the possessive “ma cherie”, which I have decided that I dislike for no good reason)=

French pet names I don’t like

  • mon amour (A man needs to EARN the right to call me this.)
  • mon ange (Ugh.  Hate it hate it hate it.  Someone who calls me his angel must surely be cheating on me.)
  • ma biche/bichette (Firstly, I’m no doe.  Secondly, it sounds too much like “bitch”.)
  • ma puce (Who wants to be called a flea??)
  • mon petit chou (Everyone knows that cabbage is evil.)

There are some contradictory overlaps between this french list and the following english list.  I know.  But I don’t care.  I told you that this was going to be arbitrary.

English pet names I like:

  • beautiful (It makes me feel beautiful.)
  • gorgeous (It makes me feel gorgeous.)
  • my lady/milady (It makes me feel like a genteel lady.)
  • sugar (Those of you who follow me on Twitter know that this one, said with a southern drawl, melts me on the spot.)
  • babe (I am indeed a total babe!)
  • my love (Nobody has ever actually called me this except some Irish women in a totally platonic way, but I don’t think that I’d mind of a man were to call me that.)
  • honeybunch (Come on, it makes me laugh!  I can’t help it)

English pet names I don’t like:

  • my beauty (That’s what you call your car.)
  • honey (Sticky. Icky.)
  • baby (Think about it.  It’s creepy!)
  • baby girl (Creepier.)
  • babycakes (Ew.)
  • woman (This is fun as a joke, but call me this seriously, and I will likely hurt you.)
  • slut (Do I even need to explain this one?)
  • dear/my dear (This sounds patronizing.  In a great-aunt kind of way.)

And thus I now (abruptly) conclude my random post about pet names because snack time absolutely cannot wait.

What about you all?  This topic is clearly subjective.  Feel free to discuss your feelings about pet names in the comments section below.  Bust my balls if you want.  I’m feeling feisty today!

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14 Comments

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14 responses to “Ms. Honeybabylovelylumps

  1. I’m a big fan of using babe and sugar when referring to people. For two reasons. 1) I’m a fan of the pet name (giving and receiving <— just totally made myself laugh at that)
    Aaaand
    2) I'm not real good with remembering names (there, I said it. Now don't tell anyone my secret! Mmmkay, sugar?)

    • I never thought about pet names coming to the rescue when my name memory fails! That is a BRILLIANT idea. I, too, can be pretty bad with names. And now that you’ve inspired me, I suspect that I will be misleading many gentlemen in the future when I call them “handsome” and “hotstuff” instead of using their names.

  2. Brian

    I find ‘baby’ creepy for the same reason, but for me it also extends to ‘babe’… Though I guess there’s no point in being too literal about this.

    I never use pet names myself in French or English, so I have very little intuitive sense about them anyway. But what are your feelings about ‘Sweetie’ and ‘Love’? I can imagine myself using the former without sounding irredeemably ridiculous, and the latter is something I might try just for the hell of it.

    • I think that I like “sweetie”, but that may be because that’s what Dr. River Song calls Doctor Who… And I rather like “sweetheart” too. They’re both… sweet!

      As for “love”, I am definitely in favor. I’d call everybody “love” if I could bring myself to be that familiar with people.

      However, “sweetcheeks” is a definite no-no. So very very wrong.

  3. Martin L.

    What are your thoughts on couples that call each other Dude? Also, I remember the first time Carina called me a petit chou I got really offended as calling someone a cabbage in Ireland is basically calling them retarded!

    • As a native californian, saying “dude” is part of my identity. “Dude” is ALWAYS cool.

      HAHA ah cabbage and cultural differences. That should be the title of my first book.

  4. Flo

    I had a boyfriend who used to call me ‘squidgy muffin’.

    Now on the one hand, ‘squidgy’ = very bad, unnecessary allusion to surplus body mass,

    yet ‘muffin’ gives the suggestion of the delicious and indulgent..

    as you can imagine I was quite torn on what to think about this one…!

    • Squidgy muffin! That SOUNDS cute if you just listen to it without thinking about the meaning. Either way, I’ll give him points for creativity!

      I’d take squidgy muffin over something like, say, tickle muffin.

      That being said, however, this is not the kind of pet name that you can dish out in public without some serious embarrassment to BOTH parties.

    • darcylynn

      I don’t think I’d like that one for the same reason you said about squidgy… plus I would think ‘muffin’ would make me think of ‘muffin-top’ which is not good… lol

  5. Sam

    What about Darling? My ex called me that sometimes. I liked it from him… but I can see NOT liking it from others.

    • I don’t mind “darling”. Even better, “darlin'”… with a drawl. Honestly, a man can say anything like a cowboy, and I’d probably eat it up. It’s part of this thing I have about Matthew Mcconaughey. What a delicious man.

  6. I’m definitely not a pet-name kind of gal. Feel funny saying ’em and I hate hearing ’em. But if a sexy French man whispered “mon coeur” in my ear I might change my position on the spot!
    p.s. quick…who’s your fave Dr. Who? i have a thing for #9…

    • That’s a tough question! Off the top of my head, my top three, in order, would be: Matt Smith, Christopher Eccleston, Tom Baker. David Tenant comes in fourth, but only because he can be a little too spastic. I could write whole essays to justify my rankings, but I will spare you:)

  7. Sylvia

    Bahahaha- your observations are on point! Honey and sweetheart were hard to take until I spent time in the South. Now it’s 2nd nature. Am okay with cherie or petite chou if it’s from someone I care about. Puce is just weird and I imagine ticks. Ultimate blushmaker is “darling” and I blame Sound of Music and my HK mom for that one.

    (Btw, just discovered your blog via theparisblog. Je suis si heuresue!)

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