Julie over at French Toast sent me this link a while back, and I thought that it accurately/ironically illustrates the Parisian idea of a functional relationship. The link takes you to an online game called The Boyfriend Trainer, in which the player, presumably a female, is supposed to train her boyfriend to be the perfect companion by implementing a negative reinforcement scheme — punishing him for undesirable behaviors.
The game is divided into four different stages:
- Player must slap boyfriend if he even so much as glances amorously at another female.
- Player must taser boyfriend if he leaves clutter on the floor of the house.
- Player must whack boyfriend with racket if he hogs the remote or drinks wine instead of juice.
- Player must strangle boyfriend with a pre-tied noose/leash if he drives too fast or attempts to change the radio station.
And voilà… the perfect boyfriend.
And voilà… the ultimate parisian relationship.
Minus the taser. I don’t think that civilians can legally buy those here.
Man-shopping in D.C. 
A long time ago I think you asked me why I was *not* planning on going to France.
Well I think we laid that to rest today, hmm?
And what’s wrong with a little shin-she, shin-she? Don’t you enjoy when a lover tresp-esses where no one has ever tres-pessed? (Name the quote and I’ll love you long time!)
Even though I can’t name the quote, we both know that it’s technically MY job to be doing any loving long time!
Don’t come here! I’ll go there.
Almost every guy I’ve dated so far would be 6 feet under with a fork stabbed in his eye according to those rules…
You mean he drank wine instead of juice? THAT BLACKGUARD! 🙂
Aaaand yep, you’re still not selling Paris to me.
I’m not selling Paris to myself these days either…
But the crusty bread here? I’d marry it.
Yep, it sounds like Paris isn’t the place to be right now lol
Gotta get me this game… i.r.l 😀
I would not do well in Paris. I prefer the apathetic approach. He checks out other girls, I leave. Single. Doh!